Lovely words

Consonant reader,

Mother.

Passion.

Liberty.

The british council recently had a nationwide vote to see which words are the UK's favourite. The ones listed above made it into the top ten amongst others, with Mother being the top most favourite word of all time. And why the hell not? Its where we all came from, its our point of origin, so why shouldn't we give it some respect?

Other words in the list included bubble, gazebo, peekaboo and fuselage. A few that didn't make it but that were contributed were kerfuffle and bedlam. Awww...

To see the whole list, visit the BBC link above...

Before I made this blog, I was obsessed with the word Bonobo. The word just sounded so awkward yet serious in the same light. I kept repeating it over and over and liked the way it sounded. Then, named the blinkin' site after it. Well, it just so happens that Love is in the top ten anyway... So I must be doing something right!

Now.. tell me your favourite words...

B x.

Ready, steady, cock.

Consonant reader,

I heard the other morning on the radio that Barry Cryer had once bought a packet of Anthony Worrall Thompson organic sausages from his local supermarket.

He read the back of the packet for cooking instructions and finally read at the bottom which read: Prick with a fork.

This made me giggle like Scooby Doo yesterday morning in the car on my merry way to work.



Above: A chef who favours pronged implements to cook with.

B x.

The Day We Went To Brighton (aka There and Back Again)

Above: Brighton, 2 hours ago.

Consonant reader,

Leaving all thoughts of school, over priced anti- virus software and trying to get all of my work done before Sunday night, me and the Good Lady went down to Brighton for the weekend.

From Gloucester it took about 3 hours and a bit extra (fuel stops, wee stops, fuel and wee stops- do you get the picture?) before we made it to Hove and the Imperial Hotel, our place to kip for the evening. The reason for this sudden journey south? A wedding if you must know. And it was the type of wedding where you feel like you're going to be an insignificant peripheral guest, the one who spends all night sitting near the end of the reception table idly playing with your place name thats been specially printed with a fine watermark and emboss finish to it.

I haven't known the intended couple all that long, having been introduced via the aforementioned Lady earlier this year, but already I knew the whole ring a ding ding shindig was going to be a fine affair, as they were lovely friendly folks.

And their friends and family were equally friendly and lovely. I got on well with the groom's other brothers and father, talking mainly about music. Now, I felt very humbled to be invited to this wedding, because I hadn't known these two all that long and it was quite an intimate affair with only select acquaintances making themselves present to the soiree. So, I did feel quite honoured to be a part of it. Everyone who we didn't know welcomed us as well as the other 'unknown elements' much like oursevles with open arms (and hands loaded with glasses of wine).

The wedding was held in Brighton Pavillion, which was pretty impressive stuff, even if the fire alarm went off just before the service was meant to start (However the bride hadn't arrived then anyway..). After the wedding ceremony and a few kodak moments, we all stumbled in the bitter cold to the reception venue, The Hotel Du Vin.



Above: Brighton Pavillion, 1 hour ago just as dusk was setting.

Well, I was bowled over- what a lovely place to have a reception! I won't go into detail- only to say the meal was amazing, during which we both got to know other guests a lot better. Then finally the wedding party made their way upstairs to the billiard room, where all the men took it in turns to play pool to varying degrees of skill and sobriety. Cigars were smoked, the wine flowed. I even had a pop at playing pool. Now, I know I'm shit- no Ray Reardon- but the gods must have been looking down at me because I managed to win a game! (Yes, just one- I am shit- that was just luck...)

Just when I thought it couldn't get much better, who do I see in the bar but none other than monocle clad, psuedo- country gentleman and lisp affected celebrity Chris Eubank. Complete with his little leather bound handbag, he spent the next 45 minutes or so ordering drinks and texting others at the bar, on his own. Someone then told me (a local Brightonian) that he usually spends his nights touring bars on his own. Poor sod I thought. All that fame, yet here is, on his own. Then thoughts turned from fading boxers to ordering a taxi as time had run away with the evening.

And then back to the hotel for shut eye..

This morning was nice too- lovely weather (Our hotel was over priced and a little bit on the grotty side but thats another story entirely), and a walk from Hove to Brighton and back again, looking at the shops and even a remembrance day march in the centre of town.

We arrived back this afternoon (another bleedin' 3 hours later.. more fuel stops and one wee), both of us reflecting on the past 24 hours in the car, waxing bloody lyrical we were. We also started talking about how cool it would be to live there as well. The life, the culture, the whole atmosphere is so different to the norm.

But it is expensive.. looking at the house prices. I think I'd have to sell a testicle or donate my arse to science for us to be able to afford just a shed on the sea front.

Also the grass is always greener.. and things are never as they seem..

I'm glad I went away and met new people. I'm also glad I'm back in Gloucester because I know exactly what to expect, good or bad.



Above: Gloucester, 5 minutes ago (I used some floodlights to get the daylight effect here..)

B x.

IhateNortonwithapassion.

Consonant reader,

I hate Norton Internet Security with a passion. I bought it, installed it, and by god it did what it set out to do, but.. at ..the ..same.. time ..it slowed my ..pc.. down to the..pace.. of an old disabled snail.

I have since got rid of the offending program as I was sick of having to wait every 5 minutes for the pc to check through all of its files again and again which would freeze up all other activity on the computer. As you can imagine this became infuriating to the point of killing myself.

Before I did that however, I installed an equally effective anti- virus software for free. Now I have a Norton package going spare.

Anyone fancy slowing their pc down for a discount price? Tenner?

B x.

B.O.

Consonant reader,

I joined my local gym on Saturday.

I had my induction on Sunday.

I ached on Monday. (Like the proverbial fucker)

I ached on Tuesday, but not as much.

Wednesday (Today), I went back to the gym and worked out like a steam train, getting very hot and tired in the provess. Is this natural I wonder?

Anyway, by the summer of 2005 A.D., my body will be honed and toned to god- like perfection. Millions will look at, and want to be me. I will be irresistable to all women, most men and other vertebrated mammals of no fixed species or identity.

...

*spots a squadron of pigs on the horizon*

B x.

The Wave Of Hate

If you look up on the upper right hand corner of this blog, or indeed any blog done through www.blogger.com (thanks guys, you're the best) you'll notice a little icon that says "Next Blog".

I've been clicking on this icon for the past 20 minutes and found that every blog is either Canadian, American, Mexican or from the Middle East.

And just about all of them are having a real dig at this George Bush fella who won that erection the other day in New York. Every blog site was dedicated to poking his eyes out with asparagus tips and tanning his hide from here to Kingdom Come and then back to here again. They were all just saying how disappointed they were with the result of the election and how they will keep resisting another 4 years of shame which makes the US people look to the outside world look like a group of god fearing gun toting sonsabeaches.

Well, have you ever met the man? Never judge a president from his past 4 years in office, that was only a warm- up act. Everybody: "Look to the future now, he's only just beeegu-hu-huuunnn"



Above: America yesterday.

"Am I awake yet?"

Consonant reader,

It seems that, in starting my job back in.. well, what seems like 7,000 years ago now (2 months really) I've had to get used to a different routine in my life.

No more getting up when I want to (Although I'm usually an early bird anyway, 8 o'clock constituting a lie-in) and lazing around the day. No way pardner! Now I have to get up at 6.30 to leave the house at 7, drive for 50 minutes on back roads narrowly missing farmers, tractors and more commonl, farmers driving tractors which can be a right royal bugger only to get into school at silly o'clock. By which time I've forgotten about breakfast or any kind of food because I'm trying to sort out every-bleedin-thing else..

Then I have lunch (when I have time to eat it) for half an hour because I'm doing computer club or duty around the school or tending to one of my form group because they have an upset tummy or something else so I have to phone their parents for the 43rd time that week.

And then half asleep I return home usually around 6 in the evening, a bit knackered but quietly satisfied.

Sure, its tiring. And at this time of year anything frigging thing is a pain in the ass. But I do like it, don't get me wrong. But sometimes, because I'm on the go so much, I mingle my words, don't think straight and start saying silly things. I said 'ploppy disk' the other day, and called a boy 'dad' at one point. I had a year 9 group and told them to be quiet by shouting 'Be quiet year 8' to which they all turned around to correct my one-year-out gaff.

I've been driving home in the dark, staring at the car in front of me whilst having a waking dream where the car infront looks like it was in a desert and I was a weird bird flying behind it. And looking at computer screens all day as I'm sure you all know makes your eyeballs turn into cracked glass.

I need more sleep. That week off just last week wasn't enough.



zz..zz

B x.